After publication there is this crazy urge to check your sales rankings and reviews daily. It’s an obsession that as an author, I hated to submit to, but couldn’t control. Well, recently I made aen effort to stop. No more checking Amazon ranking every few hours, no trolling for new reviews on all the review sites. Instead I’ve focused on getting back into my writing groove and tackle several outstanding projects.
Going on vacation in the middle of my self imposed hiatus helped tremendously. It’s hard to worry about book sales when you’re in a house with 5 boys under the age of 10.
One thing I learned while taking time away from all this, is that I’ve not only been much happier, but it puts things into perspective. There are things much worse than getting a bad review. For those authors out there who are suffering from the 1 star review blues, giving me the side eye and mumbling “yeah right”, I’m telling the truth. Here are my top ten things that are worse than a 1 star review.
- Cutting your finger while slicing lemons
- A gnat flying in your eye
- Someone sneezing on your neck
- A fly landing on the last bite of a very good meal
- A car accident
- Going to jail…or prison
- Losing your job
- Discovering your man is sleeping with your dad
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather get the one star review than any of those above. Now you tell me other things that are worse than a one star review.
Whoa, that’s a pretty bad list. Here’s my contribution: 1) sinus infections, which I hate with a passion. 2) stubbing your little toe on the corner of a piece of furniture – that’s excruciating pain 3) labor pain – never experienced it, but I heard it’s awful.
Good ones! Which leads me to add an episiotomy. I never had one, but I squirm whenever I think of it.
I’ve been in labor 3 times, yup, not a good feeling except you get a wonderful prize after. And it’s not the episiotomy that hurts, it’s the stitching it up for 30 minutes afterwards that is the true pain. Then the next 10 days while it heals.
Oh my … you made me cringe like you wouldn’t believe! Eeek = sneezing on your neck. Ummm, how about speaking in front of 100 people and forgetting what you were going to say?
OMG, that happened to me yesterday!
So many things. Toe fungus because of diabetes that keeps you walking in pain AND bumping the corner of furniture. Losing your classroom key for the first time in 20 years and being severely rebuked. And on a very sad and serious note–having a first grade boy in your class who is losing his fight with cancer.
One star reviews do slice like those lemon-tinged cuts, but yeah–much is worse.
Thanks for pointing that out, Synithia.
That really puts things in perspective. Life could be much worse.
Leslie, as a cancer survivor, please investigate Essiac tea. They gave me no chance to survive and I drank this tea given to me by friends. It saved my life. Now my oncologist is recommending it to other patients. I get it through Camas Prairie blend via Amazon. If the parents are willing to try it, it may make a difference. I hope so anyway. 🙁
Its so funny because before I even opened it and just by the title I blurted out loud “Hemorrhoids” LOL This is awesome!
Stepping on a Lego, in the dark, with your bare feet.
A neighbor’s dog that won’t stop barking. Day after day after day.
Losing your passport mid-flight.
Getting the best idea for a book in the middle of the night, telling yourself that you’ll remember it, falling back asleep, and waking up in the morning with nothing but self-loathing.
Someone stealing your work and getting rich and famous from it.
Signing away lifetime rights for your book and major characters…to a publisher that barely sells anything, won’t return your rights, and doesn’t have a rights reversion clause.
Telling your thirteen-year-old daughter that she will have to have chemotherapy and it will permanently take away her ability to conceive and bear a child.
Ana — I don’t think you have enough there! ((hugs))
Much worse. I’d much rather get the bad review.
Confusing your husband’s Preparation H Cooling Gel with Monistat.
LMAO, yeah, that would suck.
Accidentally sending your supervisor an email that says “My supervisor is an idiot.”
If it were my big boss, I’d be fired. That would suck.
This one’s rather disgusting, but, but since you mentioned hemorrhoids… 😉 discovering (the hard way) that your dog had a tummy ache in the middle of the night and you didn’t wake up to let her out in time.
Fantastic list. Thank you for the giggle.
And that’s why I don’t want a dog, lol!
I kid you not, Synithia, I’ve read a book in which the heroine’s lousy husband was indeed sleeping with her father….
So not cool.
Having bad period pains or a heart attack
Wow, you guys. You’ve put a powerful perspective on things.
Being sewn up AFTER an episiotomy – I will remember that woman’s face for the rest of my life!
Oh wow, you guys have come up with some good ones. There are so many more things worse than a one star review. Here are a couple off the top of my head: a two-day migraine, getting your car broken into, and realizing you ran out of peanutbutter and jelly (IJS)
I’ve never had a migraine, and I’d rather get the bad review than suffer with one.
Nearly dying of carbon monoxide that when checked, was 8 times the lethal level (the escaping was a miracle but the side affects suck.) then a year to-date later discovering your family home with 30 foot flames shooting out of it.(later burning completely down) and suffering panic attacks for a year later even on your wedding day(most likely due to falling on your face on concrete when suffering from oxygen loss during the Co2 incident.)
*Yes, these actually happened to me.
*hugs* Carbon monoxide poisoning is scary
I needed this to put things into perspective today. There are SO many things that are worse than a 1 star review!
Great post, Synithia. Great laugh!
And there are a number of ailments afflicting millions of people…so we’ll keep this to writing…
The one thing that is worse than a one-star review is no one reading your book at all. I’m happy for the 97% who love my work and know that no one can make everyone happy. If everyone loves you, someone is lying. I’m just honored that they took the time to read. 🙂
What a great message. You’re right – it’s all about perspective.