First, let me preface this by saying that I love my husband and have no intention of ever leaving the wonderful life we have together. But, I do write romances, and spend a lot of my time daydreaming and creating fantasy. So I’ve decided to indulge my fantasy, by listing the 10 men that–should I ever get the chance–would severly test my belief in monogamy. They are not listed in any type of order, just randomly listed as I thought this out.
- Kevin Garnett: Sure he is not classically handsome, and is so skinny it doesn’t look as if there is anything separating his skull from his skin, but I am crazy about this man. On the basketball court he is so intense, aggressive and focused. Can you imagine if he took that into the bedroom? Damn! As long as he’s playing basketball I have a reason to continue watching. My fantasy: I meet him after he’s won the NBA Championship. He signs my jersey, invites me to an afterparty that we don’t make it to because we end up celebrating in the back of his limo.
- Ludacris: I’m not a hip hop enthusiast or expert—never pretended to be one and I don’t play one on TV—so I can’t comment on how he compares lyrically with other rappers. What I can do, is comment on how the sound of his voice drives me wild every time I hear it. When his voice flows across my body like warm honey, I don’t really care what he’s talking, or rapping about. My fantasy: Listening to him talk dirty on the phone on a balmy summer night.
- Emmit Smith: Two years ago, my favorite time on Sunday was watching Emmit Smith on ESPN’s Sunday NFL Countdown . Maybe it was his smooth chocolate skin, or the salt and pepper coloring in his beard, but I was excited to watch as Emmit predicted the winners of the day’s NFL lineup. He’s no longer on Countdown, I didn’t watch him on Dancing with the Stars (I boycott reality shows) so I only get the occasional glimpse of him, but when I do I always smile at the TV, wave my hand and say in a soft voice “Hey Emmit”. My fantasy: Snuggling with him on the couch on a Sunday; discussing football and his glory days. At half time we head upstairs and miss the rest of the game.
- Robin Thicke: I’ve never dated outside of my race, but if I had, I think it would have been with someone like Robin Thicke. This guy sings with soul. Whenever I’m listening to his music, I really go into fantasy mode and imagine that those sultry words are for me. Robin, it feels great to know that you love me. Top it off with the way he ooze sex appeal, and you’ve got a surefire way to get me squeezing my thighs together. My fantasy: I’m in the studio watching him record his latest album. The looks he gives me as he sings are so intense, that my body feels as if it’s simmering over hot coals. After his set, he walks over to me and kisses me slowly. Everyone leaves the studio and we begin to make our own music.
- George Clooney: I’m not talking about George Clooney with the mullet from Roseanne; I’m referring to George Clooney from Ocean’s Eleven. Those dark eyes, that sexy half-smile the air of sophistication that surrounds him. What’s not to love about George Clooney? The fact that no lady can get him to the alter makes him sexier. I love a challenge. My fantasy: We’re listening to Frank Sinatra and drinking high balls in a luxurious Vegas hotel suite. He pulls me in his arms and we slowly sway to the velvety sounds of Sinatra, before slipping into the bedroom to do something too marvelous for words.
- Brad Pitt: It’s no secret that Brad Pitt is handsome, but when I think of Brad Pitt from the 90s, I don’t even know how to describe him. That man was so damn fine, I couldn’t look at him directly. It was like the sight of his golden hair and blue eyes blinded me. Lately he hasn’t moved me as much, but in memory of the Golden Adonis he once was, he will always have a spot on my fantasy list. My fantasy: I’m the priestess he saves in Troy and we spend many nights healing his scars in that tent.
- Morris Chestnut: Mr. Chestnut is another one who hasn’t recently caused me to sigh, but I’ve held a torch for this man since Boyz n the Hood. The height of my Morris Chestnut adoration was around the time the filmed The Best Man. I still tremble during his first scene in that move when he enters the restaurant to meet his friends and flashes those beautiful white teeth in a sexy smile. My fantasy: He’s sitting across from me at the bar, flashes that million dollar smile, and buys be a drink. We sit, talk, laugh before I ask him over to my place. Why be coy? This man is a winner.
- Peyton Manning: The reason I watch football is because I live with an avid football fan. The reason I enjoy football, is watching the players in those tight pants. Peyton Manning, is the one I like to watch the most. His boy next door, down home, cornbread eating looks drive me crazy. He looks so wholesome and all American, I couldn’t help but dream about him, and will continue to do so unless I find out that he’s a typical arrogant, self-absorbed athlete. My fantasy: I’m dressed like Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island, he’s wearing overalls, and we’re getting it on in a barn in Nebraska.
- Lester Holt: Many ladies dream of superstars and athletes, and my list contains those, but I also have a small crush on NBC news anchor Lester Holt—in his glasses. Those dark square frames and his composed, confident and distinguished looks, make me want to rip off those glasses and explore the man behind them. My fantasy: The cool exterior hides a very hot and passionate interior that he unleashes on me in his dressing room at NBC.
- Idris Elba: Idris, Idris, Idris! Tall, dark, handsome with a British accent to boot! That man can read the dictionary to me and I’m satisfied. He walks with a swagger that dares you to doubt his manhood. My fantasy: We’re sitting in a coffee shop, discussing literature (it’s my fantasy and a British accent makes me want to be academic). We disagree on something trivial and I turn away. He slides his chair next to me, whispers “Don’t be mad” in my ear before kissing the corner of my mouth. Unable to resist his magnetism, I smile. He kisses me again and we quickly exit the shop and head to his flat.
Well, by now you should have realized that my husband doesn’t really need to fear these guys. It is a very small chance that I’ll ever meet any of them, and if I did, it’s an even smaller chance that I’d be able to indulge my fantasies. Many of them are married, and my romantic mind would like to believe they are faithful, and for the ones who aren’t married, I couldn’t bring myself to cheat. Or, at least I hope that would be the case 🙂
This list is based on my tastes, so I ask, who are the 10 men your man should fear?
Girl this list is fantastic, I think Idris should be closer to the top (on top of me). Anyway, looking forward to your many posts.
I didn’t list in order, so don’t worry, he is at the top of my list!
This is hilarious. I loved each entry, particularly how you made your allusions with Sinatra and marvelous, Peyton and cornbread, Idris and his flat.
I’m so glad you’re blogging because I’ve missed your writing. Absolutely digging how you infuse humorous inflections into each scenario.
Speaking of Idris, have you watched him in Luther?! BBC America production, it’s on demand and it is fantastic!
The Ludacris on a balmy night absolutely made me laugh outright. He has the same effect on me. The misogyny is eclipsed by his sly and bombastic plays on words. Ridiculous.
Peyton and cornbread. Still chuckling about that one. My friend’s brothers grew up playing pop warner ball with him; said he was totally downhome and crazy good (duh).
Super fun post! I’m glad my phone has internet; you and your blog are saving me today 🙂
I haven’t seen Idris in Luther. I must check it out on BBC America and set my DVR. Thanks for the tip!