It’s almost 10 p.m. and I’m sitting here eating an ice cream cone. Now why would I sabotage my workouts in this manner? Because I am adrift in a sea of uncertainty. Right now my impatience is battling with my need for perfection. Which is odd because usually I let impatience win, but perfection is fighting hard. What is the fight about: how soon do I want to self publish my book. You see impatience has had a boost by the positive reaction my current WIP has received from three readers, and the very good feedback on the first chapter provided by complete strangers at the SC Writers Workshop meeting last week. Impatience, that nasty girl, does not like to listen to reason and is steadily yelling “What are you waiting for? You’ve gotten enough feed back. Do it already.” On the other hand perfection is the voice of reason and is telling me to in a soft, calm school teacher voice to “Settle down please.” You see perfection does not like to rush ahead into the unknown. What if the rush causes me to overlook very important items that must be considered. Do you really want to put something out that isn’t–beyond a reasonable doubt–the best you could do? Impatience is quick with the comeback that perfection is an excuse for procrastination. So what if you stumble, it’s a learning experience. Falling down and getting back up only makes you stronger. Whereas perfection says that being smart and cautious is not procrastination. Yes, you may fall, but wouldn’t you rather limit the amount of falling you do?
So, dear reader, now that I’ve finished the ice cream, and try to ignore a huge hankering for some salt and vinegar potato chips, I realize that I must come to some sort of conclusion. The torture I commit myself to, in the form of exercise training, cannot be sabotaged by this fight between impatience and perfection. After taking both arguments into consideration I think a compromise is in order. If I make the end of the year my goal then that gives perfection more time to perfect my masterpiece (I’m at liberty to call it that) while providing impatience with a very visible deadline. I do hope that both sides can agree to these terms. I mean really, my mid-section cannot take much more of this fight.
LOL..!” My mid-section cannot take much more of this fight.” Perfection vs. Impatience….I so understand what you are going thru.
You’ve got to find the funny in life!
I think you need moments where you eat the ice cream cone. You are in control of you. You know what you are doing. Giving in just lets you know that you aren’t perfect and are in fact human. Your drive and perserverance (sp?) are really inspiring. Maybe the ice cream cone helps you to relax and realize what your next step will be. (this is sort of disjointed – I just woke up. 🙂 )
I think you’re right Adrienne. After eating the ice cream, and venting, I felt better. Let’s hope this compromise can last 🙂