Am I Jaded Or Are Other Women Clueless

Last week during lunch with colleagues the discussion touched on the many affairs in a certain office that will go unnamed. I agree with the overall need for an eye roll when discussing people having casual office affairs, but what threw me was the way the women were completely shocked that the married men were cheating on their wives. One even exclaimed “But he’s a leader in his church”, which I responded with a “That doesn’t mean anything.” In my humble opinion men in power (i.e. church leaders) are probably provided with more opportunities to cheat than others. I had no idea this office was the true incarnation of The Young and the Restless, but I wasn’t surprised to hear what was going on. It had me ask myself if I’ve become jaded, or are other women clueless.

Now I’ve told you all before than I’m a pessimistic romantic. I’ll cry at the end of love stories and read romance novels all weekend long, but I don’t truly believe in all the happily ever afters. Even in my novels my pessimism shows. My heroines aren’t starry eyed and waiting for a prince to save them. If anything they are a bit mistrustful of men and most have been hurt before. I’ve come to realize that no matter who the person is, we’re all human and humans make mistakes. Humans also tend to have bad judgment and do things that feel good even if it isn’t good for them. So when I hear about infidelity, I am disappointed if the person is close to me, but I’m not floored.

My husband and I talk about infidelity a lot. I truly hope that both of us are smart enough to not do something stupid and ruin our relationship, but I can’t help but keep in mind that 20 years from now anything could happen. I include myself in this. A friend of mine commented that she couldn’t guarantee that her husband would be the last person she ever slept with. Not because she planned to cheat, but because life is so unpredictable. A happy marriage one year is a bitter divorce the next. I agree with her, while fervently praying that my husband is the last person I sleep with. Another friend adamantly stated that while she’s married her husband would be the only person she slept with. I truly want that to be the case, but women make mistakes just as much as men. If anything we’re smarter at hiding our infidelity than men are. One thing I live by is the “never say never” rule. Because the minute I declare I’ll never do something I end up doing it.

So while I am jaded about the relationships of men and women, I do realize that what I have with my husband is the best thing that ever happened to me. I will do everything in my power to make sure that it lasts forever. On the other hand, I realize that life is unpredictable and I can’t control the actions of others. I also acknowledge that my actions, as do others, can be easily influenced by emotions, situations and peer pressure. I believe that realizing that will prevent me from making a mistake in the future. While I may be jaded, I prefer that to being clueless.