He’s a Man, Is No Excuse

I recently discussed the goings on at a bachelor party for a man I do not know to a woman I do not know. Therefore, I feel as if I can rant about what happened at said party. Apparently during the “entertainment” the groomsmen took up a collection to pay one of the strippers in attendance $300 to sleep with the groom. When I asked if the groom did it the answer I received, “He’s a man.”

WTF!?! What does being a man have to do with condoning, encouraging or participating in something so stupid? There are so many things wrong with that situation I don’t know where to start. I don’t have a problem with strippers at a bachelor party. But, when the entire idea behind the stripper is to sleep with the groom at the end of the night it crosses the line to all around bad intention. It’s blatant disrespect to the soon-to-be wife by the soon-to-be husband and the groomsmen.

If men are going to use being a man as an excuse then they should not have any problems with us automatically assuming they did the same—or plan to do the same—at their bachelor party. It means women should automatically assume their fiancé’s groomsmen will take up a collection to pay for some last-minute (cheap) coochie. It means women should assume the bachelor party is nothing but an excuse to cheat, and for other men to cheer on the cheating with the enthusiasm they’d show at the Superbowl.

Oh, wait, am I going too far. Are the men’s eyebrows now crinkled and their lips twisted into a frown as they fervently shake their heads and say, “Hold up, I didn’t mean it like that.” Really, then how do you mean it? If a woman’s bridesmaids took up a collection for the bride to have one last ride on someone else’s magic stick, are you saying all we need to reply with is “Oh, well she’s a woman.”

I thought not.

I won’t go into the entire double standard thing here. I ranted on that in previous blogs, but I think it’s time for men to come up with something other than the he’s a man excuse. How about: he’s an asshole. He’s a cheater. His friends are sorry. He doesn’t really love her and will screw any stripper for $300 for the rest of their married life. Those sound like more accurate excuses for the behavior than he’s a man.