It’s my first Campaigner Challenge! The task: write a short story/flash fiction in 200 words or less. Begin with the words “Shadows crept across the wall”. For an extra challenge end with “everything faded”, use the word orange, write in your normal genre (romance) and make the story exactly 200 words.
Shadows crept across the wall. The smell of gardenia—my favorite flower—floated on the ocean breeze as it lifted the curtains. He’d planted them after our split. I stretched and indulged in the soreness that came with an afternoon of lovemaking. Tomorrow I might regret today’s decision. But, it took three years to get this glorious afternoon, I wouldn’t spoil it by thinking of the consequences.
I rolled over expecting to see him, but the bed was empty. My heart beat frantically as I sat up. My eyes scanned the room looking for any trace of him. His clothes, haphazardly thrown across the room before, were missing. Mine folded neatly on a chair. Pain constricted my chest and tears burned my eyes. Memories of a similar scene hit me: waking up alone, the only reminder of him a cryptic note saying our lovemaking was a mistake.
This couldn’t be happening. After everything it took to get here, could he leave me so callously yet again?
The door opened. My breath caught then released in a rush. He stood there smiling, eating an orange. He walked over, bent and kissed me. Tomorrow didn’t matter. When we were together everything faded.
So what do you think?
Aww how romantic!! Love it! Great job 🙂
I’m entry #19
You capture the moment of loss, and the relief at the end! Whew! Great job. (Liza #112)
Aww, lovely. I’m so glad it ended happily.
Oh I’m so glad he was still there! It was about to be gut-wrenching, and you turned it right around. Love this!
Hi, I’m from the campaign and I really enjoyed your story! 🙂 Very romantic!
Nice romantic piece! I could feel her disappointment at not seeing him, her distrust. I held my breath, letting it out only when I read that he returned 🙂
Whew! I’m so glad he came back.
Laurie Buchanan (entry #92)
That’s a really nice story and I’m so glad you gave it a happy ending. I’m #91.
Awww I was so scared for her!! I’m glad he was still there! So romantic! Nice job 🙂
I’m #37
Ahah. I’m so glad that was the end. Cause I was gonna be sad if he had left. :/
Thanks everyone for the awesome feedback! I’m glad y’all enjoyed the story 🙂
Love it, Synthia! Nice happy ending too. Off to vote! I’m #61.
Very nice story! I love a good happy ending that comes after some sadness. I’m #123.
Oh good, I’m glad it worked out for her although of course I can’t help wondering if it will continue to. Mine is #71
Aw, I’m glad everything worked out.
#109
Oooh, nice! Way to raise the tension! We’re in the same campaign group, so I’m stopping by to say hello!
That was a nice ending, I hope he doesn’t actually leave again.
I liked the happily every after. I was all geared up to see her heart break again. I also wasn’t sure if I liked him very much, even though he came back, because of whatever happened the first time around. In all, the story and characters got my attention.
I think I’ll revisit these characters and flesh out the story. Even though it’s flash fiction, I knew his reasons for leaving before were becasue he thought it was the right decision at the time. I love that this challenge sparked another idea. Glad you enjoyed it.
I wonder at what happened between them. Why did he leave, return? What’s going to happen now?
At first I was thinking ‘nasty’, but by the end he wasn’t at all! Liked your piece! Well done!
Congratulations on getting into the Random Win! I need you to contact me so that we can get your prizes to you=)
kathleen dot doyle88 at yahoo dot com
ASAP please=)
I just noticed that you were a random winner (with the prize of a signed copy of my book, Depression Cookies). I see Kathleen’s in touch with you, so I’ll wait to hear from her about how to get the book to you.
And, of course, CONGRATS! 😉
I emailed her earilier today. I can’t wait to check out your book!
Thanks. Let me know if you don’t hear soon, because I want to get it out to you. I enjoyed your piece.